08-01-2012

She hid behind the door curtain as her father shouted at her. She was scared & stood fixed at that spot.

She was five years old. As she walked back home from school with her friends, one of them wanted to use the bathroom, her friend came home. As they entered the house, she saw her father & fear over took all other senses. She was scared of him. Nothing scared her more than this man. She never understood why he lost his temper & when he would lose his temper. She lived in constant terror. By the time she could find her mother & announce her arrival, her friend could not hold & had relieved herself in the hall.

Her father thundered curses at her. She ran into the room, hid behind the door curtain crying as her father scolded her on top of his voice. Her mother asked him to calm down as she cleaned the hall. She told him that they were small children. He continued ignoring everyone.

She stood fixed behind the door curtain crying & wondering why he had lost his temper & what wrong had she done, for him to yell at her on top of his loud voice!

What you do on Christmas day?

This question asked by Mane oota, brought back so many memories. Christmas is a major festival celebrated at home from ever since I can remember. As kids, we would be super excited, there would be huge balloons stuck to the ceiling. A nice round cake with white icing & red roses on it would come from Nilgiris cake shop for Christmas. Vergeese, Dad’s student, brought the cake & yummy rose cookies which his mom would make. But the cake would have even number of roses & silver dragees, (thanks to Dee, I looked up the net & found what the silver sugar balls were called) so that sis & I would not fight. We would sing carols & play them loudly. Sis & I would scream “Long time ago in Bethlehem, so the Holy Bible say, Mary's boy child Jesus Christ, was born on Christmas Day.” By Boney M. The highlight was the cake & gifts!

That was then, but today, Sis has moved to Punjab & Vergeese moved to Africa years ago & we have not heard from him. But on Christmas, I light a candle, hum a carol, bake cookies & cakes, and buy rose cookies. Give gifts to my dear friends. But the spirit of Christmas is still the same. I still expect Santa to send me gifts!

Merry Christmas! 

Dev Anand

I really do not remember when I heard this name first or saw him on screen first. But, yes, mom always talked about him. She is a huge fan of Dev Anand. Every time, there was a Dev Anand movie or song on Tv, we would call her & all of us would watch. Dad is a huge fan of Madhubala. So the argument about which one is a better actor, the looks, etc always added giggles & laughter around the house.

Mom’s sisters always teased her about her love for Dev Anand. Today, it was one of them who called her & broke the sad news early in the morning. Mom as usual, told me in the morning, Sad he passed away, but he has given such hit films, he will be remembered for ever & she hummed “abhi na jaao chod ke dil abhi bhara nahi”...

When I first watched the movie guide I loved it, then I went & read the book. This is probably the first time I have read a book after watching the movie, loved both the movie & the book. Taxi driver & Jewel thief are all time favourites. Also the songs picturised on him are always sung at home. From as long as I can remember I have sung “Ek hazar me meri behana hai” to my sister. Lots of times, when this song was played on Tv or radio, Sis & I would hum it together. Sweet memories! Evergreen movies & songs! You will be remembered always Dev Anand!

27-11-11 1.0 Am

One week melted into another

November melted into December

I feel like I have woken from a slumber

Was that real or a dream that I remember?

A year went by I wonder

The New Year party I still remember

Wiser, have I become? I ponder!

Sketch says the hand

Sleep says the body

Wake up early says the mind

2.0 Am says the clock

Saturday the 4^th November says the calendar

When did October 24^th become November 4^th

I wonder!

15/10/2011

I cannot lead you on your path

I cannot make it an easy journey

I can mend your footwear while you rest

So that you can resume your journey!

If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? 

 Albert Einstein.

For the umpteenth time I told my scowling maid that I would clean my tables, so that she could move it and sweep without the fear of setting off an avalanche of things. She muttered how many times I have heard this, shook her head and walked off with a sarcastic laugh.

            After a leisurely breakfast and tea which I enjoyed under the blue canopy watching the floating clouds and re reading R K Narayan’s English teacher, till the Sun started to burn my back, I came into my room and looked at my tables.

            There is one wooden writing/study table which is about two feet by two and a half feet. Looking at it reminded me of the table in the English teacher. Dad had two such tables made for his daughters. As children we used and abused these tables, but they managed to survive.  They still have pieces of art work which I had done on them years ago.

            This table in my room has my art work, old pink elephant sticker. This old fellow is heaped with diaries from the past couple of years. No, I cannot throw them as I have written all my blog posts in them. Yes, I have to write it with a pencil or pen as my typing speed & thought are not in sync. An old calendar which my sister brought from Goa, it has nice illustration of old Goan buildings. Lots of my sketches & paintings, a sketch book which has ‘The last mughal’ sitting on it. Oh! The ACK comic ‘Tales from Jataka’ is sandwiched between the sketchbook & the Mughal. ‘The secret laws of attraction’ sits on the Mughal.

            An assortment of bills, paper, OHP sheets, random prints, bits & pieces of paper on which I have scribbled a few creative lines, phone numbers, etc are sprinkled generously on these books. Along with a brown paper cover, I have no idea how it got there, the empty card reader box, the card reader, umpteen cables, deep edge canvases, ear phones, colour envelopes, planner, assortment of pens, pencils & erasers, colour tubes, prayer beads & in the corner, almost threatening to jump off the table is a cane pen stand overflowing with pens, pencils, cards & paper.

            In front of all this sits a photo of Sai Baba, which mom gave me a few years ago. Lying at Baba’s feet is a Buddhist coin bracelet which my Yoga teacher gave me for good luck, ceramic ear rings gifted by Nayantara Benjamin, a Re5 coin, hair clip & a rubber band.

            Phew! All this takes up the rear end of my table, in the fore ground sits my laptop with its mouse on the right & dongle on the left with a paper packet of assorted beads & stones, a few have spilled out & add colour to my table.

            After writing this prose, I don’t want to clean my table. Cleaning my table will mean killing my inspiration! So cleaning my table postponed!

            Oh the other table, story for another day!

23-9-2011

I sat under the bright blue canopy

Watching the clouds drift by lazily

The sun shone warmly on my back

& the wind whispered your name gently in my ear. 

Sometime in May- June 2010, I saw Meenakshi’s photo, on facebook, she was sitting & sketching. The name Pencil jam caught my attention, so I explored. Ah! An online community, of people who like to draw. So I quickly became a member. I uploaded all the old drawings, which dated back to circa 2006! Realisation dawned that it had been almost four years since I had sketched. So, to cover up for those four years, I uploaded a lot of photos that I had taken from my terrace of the Sunset, the parrots, clouds & other mundane stuff.

            The excitement of having joined PJ made me become a part of the daily drawing dose. I told myself, “Ok, so now I make one sketch every day.” Took out my sketchbook, dug out the pencils, dusted & cleaned the palette. Ok, all the equipment was ready, so I was ready to take on the daily dose. Opened the PJ DDD site & saw the day’s assignment. “Shoes? Are they out of their mind? Who wants to draw shoes? Hmm, cute shoes let me try... nah! Let me see what they will give tomorrow”... this went on for some days. In between I even wrote down what I wanted to draw & the dates! Smart eh? Then finally one day I decided to draw, draw I did & very proudly uploaded my art. Till a kind soul enlightened me about the square wheels on the cycle that I had drawn.

            I looked at the sketch & laughed, then thought about how simple it really is to draw a cycle, but what had I drawn? Went & dusted the cobwebs in my mind, oiled my creaky elbows & wrists, then approached sketching again.

            Every weekend, PJers meet (Weekend drawing club). But I was afraid of showing up for weekend jams. Amazingly talented people would meet & then me with square wheels. Oh! No! This went on for a few months. Every weekend I found a new excuse for not attending. I have never sketched live, so why bother, once I even told myself, that I could not draw round wheels on a cycle, from imagination & dreaded to think what I would draw live!

            September 19^th 2010, Weekend Drawing club met at Bull temple. It is so close to my house, nice place, so after not finding any excuse, I picked up courage & came for my first live sketching session.Met, Anil, Milad, George, Smitha, Gayatri Badani, Smriti, Prabha N & Suma; I mistook, Prabha N to be Prabha M (O! Prabha according to Anil). I was excited, so decided to sketch the easiest part (at least I thought so), a part of the compound. Sketched & realised that live sketching was difficult & again, I had drawn a building. I looked around & saw sketches of the snoozing dogs, the temple gopura, the nagara katte, the various vendors, all beautifully done & me! I wanted to first hide my sketch & then myself. I really wished I knew the disappearing act!

But PJers, angels that they are, made sure, I felt comfortable with the group, encouraged me, George sat with me & told me to take measurements & how to improve the tree in the background, Smitha even liked the way I had shaded the sketch. I thought they were being extremely nice to me & decided not to turn up for another WDC till I had improved my sketch. But, then, Pjers made me come regularly (almost) to WDC.

            The next few sessions, I sat, watched others, drew a chair, once did no sketch, just went, soaked in the atmosphere & came back. Slowly, I realised that my art had not left me, but was hibernating.

            In one year, I learnt water colour from George & Vinod Shantaram More, portraiture from Smitha, Figure drawing from Prosenjit Roy.

            A year after that first WDC, I have taken a few steps, but still have miles to go. I Am going to enjoy these miles with PJ.

Thank you PJ angels!

Thank you PJ Gods!

Recently I read the book, ‘Moving on’ by Shashi Deshpande. There is a character who is awe struck by the beauty of the human body. He thinks it is perfect. 

Extract from the book: “Anatomy & physiology, the subjects which most students found dry, tedious & fearfully voluminous to remember, a nightmare in fact when preparing for an examination, fascinated me; the structure, the functioning of the human body filled me with awe. I was lucky, too, that we had a teacher who went beyond the syllabus & mere facts to seemingly irrelevant but fascinating ideas. It was from Dr. Kapadia, our anatomy teacher, that I learnt how the human body can give us glimpses of the mystery of existence itself.”...

“It was this continuing awe & admiration which took me back to teaching anatomy even after I had post graduated in surgery.  I remembered Dr. Kapadia, who was dead by then- & how his lectures had crackled with excitement; with him, even the medical terminology became wonderfully evocative. ‘The mitral valve,’ he would say, his fingers coming together, tapering in a cone, ‘like a bishop’s mitre.’ And again, ‘the antagonist muscles,’ he said punching the air as he spoke, making the function he was describing come alive. I wanted to follow in his footsteps, to convey to my students the miracle of the human body, to give them a glimpse of the perfection Dr. Kapadia had helped me see.” (From the book - Moving on)

I thought fiction is great. In a story it is ok for the characters to be eccentric. How can anyone be so awe struck? Anatomy, I thought rather was very sure that I cannot draw human beings. But I was proved wrong. Truth is stranger than fiction!

Last weekend, I attended a workshop on figure drawing conducted by Prosenjit roy. He has mastered the human anatomy. He can draw the human figure in any posture effortlessly & flawlessly. Prosenjit knows every muscle & tendon by heart. He not only knows their clinical names, but also how & where these names are derived from. The beer drinkers muscle (Brachioradialis), the anatomical snuff box, deltoid, mastoid, trapezius, pectoralis, & the latissimus dorsi... I think if you wake him in the middle of the night he will name the muscles without blinking or yawning. I am amazed by his knowledge.

By the time I recovered from the dizzy spell of muscles, it was time to draw the human figure. The moment I feared the most arrived. Prosenjit said “there are no parallel lines” as he pointed at the picture we were supposed to sketch. “There are converging or diverging lines & curves. Look how all the curves connect.” I stared blankly & then realised, this is like a building. Columns, the main structure, the cantilever beams & the dome. By the time, i finished interpreting i had drawn my first figure quite successfully. I realised that I was over the road block (read mind block) & now, could draw human figure.

At the end of the workshop, I had successfully painted a man’s torso to proportion (well almost). At this point i don’t want to think much about what my critics have to say as this is a huge step & a great personal achievement.

Thanks Prosenjit for your magic!